since i have a starbucks gift card, i tried its new red tea latte today.
it tastes just like roasted chestnuts! the kind you can find in chinese shopping centers. pleasant.
i made this goofy collage as soon as i got back to my desk from a meeting i had with some awesome girls at work.
wanted to milk the moment of revelry before reality would sock the shit outta me and drain me of all momentum.
i think i was just kinda crazy, making stupid comments, munching on my friend/co-worker's homemade chocolate peanut brittle.
my other co-worker's saucy haircut looked like it had gotten trimmed, and being the social pariah that i am, i yelled all assertively and gruff-like, "did you FIX your hair or somethin'?" when really, i just meant, "oh, your hair looks nice. did you cut your cute bangs?" god, i might as well let out a repulsive earth-shattering belch with a bud in one hand and the other hand down in my pants, a la al bundy.
and then later in the meeting, i was acting like an ADD-addled chimp.
i am SO the token workplace chauvinistic sexist male boor.
except i am chromosomally XX.
onto other news, i've got something to look forward to at the end of the work day: dinner at hopr with hellen, peg, and lark...some of the hottest womenz around. never has so much talent, wit, and sexiness befallen this restaurant.
and lastly, WTF? what is wrong with me? my entries are so pathetically maudlin and exasperatingly vacuous and boring. eeew.
"emotional air-raids have exhausted my heart"
it's been a long time since getting close to someone has been such an exhilarating challenge.
don't think i've ever been so unsure of myself, but i think this is a
refreshing departure from previous patterns of confidence and cockiness.
it's good that i'm being kept on my toes.
no, not really.
in light of 2006 being put to bed, the last thing i want to do is attempt writing an introspective entry about the passing of time, the profound closure of one year and the purity of the next new year, second chances, big changes, and how strange life is. many have done that, and they've done it well, with graceful articulation.
however, i do want to indulge myself and say 2006 was one heck of a year.
big, BIG things occurred in a span of twelve months...things that normally don't or should happen in that range of time.
if there was some sort of diagram or visual of my life thus far, there would definitely be a huge chris ware-esque multi-paneled sprawling monster illustrating 2006.
the emotional rollercoaster continues at a rip-roaring pace. is 2006 the year of craziness? i believe so.
my dad is a fucking awesome rockstar. i love him. he totally kicked ass this past weekend in helping me move all.
my friends are pretty rad too. and my sister, who managed to sort my room out and put things in a helpful order while the rest of us were moving big furniture pieces at my old place.
every single person who's seen my boxes and boxes and boxes and boxes
of possessions have all responded with some kind of disbelief at the
number of things i have. "is this ALL yours?!!"
it's rather embarassing.
i <3 my new room. it's huge. it's lovely. it's MINE.
fingers crossed that everything works out. i want this to be a longterm home.
what i found in my inbox today:
from ticketmaster, subject line:
"don't miss rod stewart"
whoa. last week was a total doozy. still reeling from the emotional fallout.
been packing (at the world's slowest pace), and "growing up walrus" is on animal planet right now. i don't think i've ever seen a baby walrus, but it sure is a sight!
it's half endearing and half repugnant. this particular one ("nereus") is really weird looking, almost alien-like and not real, yet, SO FREAKING ADORABLE. it's like...a blubbery mastiff puppy without the appendages. its immense affection to the human caretaker is killing me. he's nuzzling her, leaning up against her, got his huge flipper on her thigh. he even rolls onto his back. just like a dog, i guess. and he's making noises akin to snorting and barking. imagine a pug's chortles, but amplified.
back to the craziness of last week. so much happened in so little time...
...a visit with an old, old friend/flame from the frighteningly distant past was definitely interesting and fun. good for the both of us, just b/c it's been so long.
...a surprise chance encounter with one of the most important people in my life was intensely emotional, dramatic, tearful, and overwhelming, but nonetheless was one of renewal and hope. in other words, it was BITTERSWEET. our lapsed correspondence, which had clouded my life, was explained and brought to light, and the air was cleared almost like never before. i realized, once again, just what an incredible, amazing, special person he is, and how lucky i am to have him in my life, no matter how far or close we are from each other. the moment of our reunion was almost cinematic. cheesy to say it, but it's kinda true.
...i was able to see my dog for the first time in months and months. as soon as i saw him, i couldn't stop sobbing. the reasons are many, but it almost felt surreal to have him in my arms. there were times when i was pretty sure i would never see him again, and this drove me to a deep sadness. as fucked up as that would be, i had resigned myself to it, partly feeling like i brought it upon myself. when we reunited, i wondered if he even remembered who i was. probably not, but it doesn't really matter. he was more affectionate than he'd almost ever been in one sitting, and kept on climbing on me and licked away at my tears. also, he lost his tail due to an infection, and now has a killer "happy thumb" tail.
...an abrupt development has blindsided me. i'm confused and caught offguard. it's left me jittery, shaken, bemused, and admittedly, pretty darn excited. key word to define my feelings regarding this particular new "thing" in my life: wary. extremely. but, you're only young once, and i'm trying to adopt a fresh approach in life: be social, try things, don't be a granny. this "thing" is a work in progress. i'm confident that it'll be the definition of anticlimax.
i have so much to pack. few things in this world piss me off more than packing and moving.
bane of my existence.
i am so massively stressed at work, and i see no end to the bombardment.
my performance is shit, and nothing seems to get done. it's an awful
feeling, especially when it strikes you in the middle of a meeting and
you start to fidget and lose control, succumbing to all that anxiety
and frazzled nerves. why am i so lazy?!
last night, i sewed a button onto a pair of pants. i had no idea what i was doing, but i hope it was a competent job.
i wish i knew how to sew.
damn all those folks and their crafty DIY ways.
heartbreaking news about the kim family.
it's already december. if i survive this month, i hope to greet 2007 as a stronger, better, wiser person. 2006 continues to be a doozy.
a lots has happened, but i've been too uninspired and plain lazy to jot it all down.
an impromptu trip to the pacific northwest with peg was fulfilling and sweet. can't believe we finally made it to seattle, the city i romanticized ever since watching singles when i was a wee lass. it was great fun, but unfortunately, i still dragged my feet to work, not nearly as refreshed and bright-eyed as i hoped to be. seattle and vancouver both are lovely cities, but the latter has the advantage of having exotic fruits unavailable in the states (i.e. mangosteen!)
i count myself extremely lucky to have found a new place to live, right in the nick of time. not only that, all the stars were aligned -- anthony and i are able to live together! he's going to be the best roommate. the household includes a charming girl from the midwest who has a great eye for design, and her best friend, a hairstylist. in addition, it don't cost too much $crilla, thank god. funds are dwindling at a breakneck pace.
sudden correspondence with someone from the distant, frightening past has been insightful, if not amusing. don't know where it's headed, but now's as good a time as ever to step outside my comfort zone and find out. at the very least, it's good closure and maybe even a new beginning.
i'm becoming deeply involved with someone when i least want(ed) to, but i can't say it hasn't been delightful and warm. i am grateful for this person and for the good times we have together.
somebody threw away my salad today while i was dining out on the terrace during lunch.
i miss my dog so much it brings tears to my eyes if i think about him.
omg I love this picture!!!! read more
on mawkish